Let’s All Chant!

Na Smee!

Na Smee, Na Smee, Na Smee!

Na Smee-tee-tee! Mis-ter Smee!

Hi, Mr. Smee-tee, Mr. Smee.

Hi, Mr. Smee-tee, Mr, Smee-tee, Mr. Smee-tee-tee!

Mis-ter Smee!

[repeat endlessly]

The Great Salt Lick

Mr. Smitty likes to lick himself!

His lickings are fun to smell when they are fresh. You can smell the salty smell of his breaths…

…like an estuary or bird sanctuary or bog: salty and sour.

Yum, Mr. Smitty!

Get Up, Stand Up

Mr. Smitty stood up on his hind legs!

He was chasing a white moth and he ran and jumped and clasped his hands together to try to perpetrate the moth.

“I knew he could stand up!”

“And dance!”

“So you think you can dance, Mr. Smitty?

[Photo documentation of his dancing on two feet will follow; such documentation was not available at press time (though, admittedly, there is no “press”).

But documentation is coming, we understand, from a small stable boy who lives in the loft with his brother who tends the sheep…]

Mr. Smitty’s Crack House

Mr. Smitty is in his crack house!
(a rock outcropping covered with succulents and such)

Mr. Smitty likes his crack house. He stays there for long periods – even in light rain. The first time we discovered he had a “problem” was when we observed the Smee having sat unmoving and smilingly contented for several hours

(after having fed him a food additive hereafter referred to as “Kitty Crack”).

“Mister, he’s been there a long time.”

“Mister, he has.”

“Mister, it’s raining.”

“Mister, he don’t know enough to come out of the rain.”

“Mister, that must be some good Kitty Crack, yo”

“Mister, we’re going to have to do an INTERVENTION!”