Mr. Smitty’s Sleeping Habits

Mr. Smitty sleeps around!

The following is a list of the Smitty’s current “cribs”:

The Crack House (if it’s sunny)

That Mister’s lap (in the morning and early evening)

This Mister’s lap (late evening)

Barbie and Buddha’s wee shelf (late night)

The Misters’ respective chairs (with -- or without – the respective Misters in them). That is to say irrespective of the Misters – and disrespective, too!

Mr. Smitty’s Peeps #1:Mini-Me

Mr. Smitty has a mini-me version of himself who comes around late at night to snarf the Smitty’s food.

Mr. Mini-Me is a small white short-haired version of the Smitty --

“-- one of his peeps, yo --”

-- and doesn’t seem to be wild. Since we’ve taken to leaving the screen door cracked, we’ve found the Smitty’s food depleted by morning.

And the Smitty’s opinion of this violation?

Secret video cameras constantly recording the Smee’s dish (“Live Food Cam”) show Mini-Me breezing past an unconcerned Smitty who vaguely raises his head and blinks slowly.

That’s because the Smitty is a benevolent, contented Smee, all Zenned-out (post-ego, post-conflict), free from needy entanglements and making up for being the last child who got the hand-me-downs and other such karmic rollercoasters.

Mr. Smitty’s Peeps #1:Mini-Me

Mr. Smitty has a mini-me version of himself who comes around late at night to snarf the Smitty’s food.

Mr. Mini-Me is a small white short-haired version of the Smitty --

“-- one of his peeps, yo --”

-- and doesn’t seem to be wild. Since we’ve taken to leaving the screen door cracked, we’ve found the Smitty’s food depleted by morning.

And the Smitty’s opinion of this violation?

Secret video cameras constantly recording the Smee’s dish (“Live Food Cam”) show Mini-Me breezing past an unconcerned Smitty who vaguely raises his head and blinks slowly.

That’s because the Smitty is a benevolent, contented Smee, all Zenned-out (post-ego, post-conflict), free from needy entanglements and making up for being the last child who got the hand-me-downs and other such karmic rollercoasters.

A Nobel Smitty

Mr. Smitty has cured AIDS!*


* but he either can’t figure out how to communicate such stuffs to The Misters because they just sit around all day and occasionally disappear for long periods…

-- Or, he has the cure but he sees a lap, goes there, falls asleep, and then forgets.

“What was I thinking about?”

Sneezy Smitty and the case of the missing eye candy

Mr. Smitty is a sneezy smitty!

He likes to sneeze a lot recently.

“Is he allergic?”

“It’s probably the new [garbled]”

“Or the change of season.”

“When’s the equinox?”

“He doesn’t have as much goop in his eye as usual.”

“You mean Mr. Smitty’s eye candy?”

“Mr. Smitty IS eye candy.”

Wilson: 14 Points

Where does the Smitty go when Wilson (bad dog) is ranging free?

“Mister can look with the flashlight?”

“I don’t see him in the tree.”

“He should. I’d go into the tree, if I were a smee.”

“What’s Wilson (bad dog) eating?”

“It looks like plastic.”

“Dumbass.”

“No wonder the Smitty is nowhere to be found.”

“He’s embarrassed.”

“Should I re-put-up the jail?”

That Mister puts the child fence thingee back at the top of the stairs, so Wilson (bad dog) can’t steal my socks or sandals and sich.

“That dog is like a walking advertisement for cats.”

“Word, yo.”