Treed, Part Three: Now and for(n)ever

[“Not!” – ed.]
[[Don’t start with that “[…--ed.]” stuff, or I’ll fold up your fictional universe so fast it’ll make your swim head!]]
[Ok, like, chillax, dude, master of the universe, Mr. Big, Artist-formerly-known-as-God, whatever…-- ed.]

“ANY-way!…”

And now back to our story…
After much gentle cooing and cajoling and inviting-down of the Smee from the offending branch --
-- none of which caused The Smitty to loosen his grip –
that Mister finally had to climb into the tree a bit and grab the Smitty and lift him down from the branch to a lower branch from which The Smitty felt he could then climb the rest of the way down.Which he did, and then ran across the grass and went into a serious licking session with the gusto of the damned

[Query: do the damned have gusto? – ed.]
[[Don’t start!]]

(MAY) BE CONTINUED !!

Treed, Part Two:The Rescue! (re-enacted (badly)

Let’s replay the scene…

“Do-do-do-do-do…I wonder where the Smitty got hisself to?”
“Miaux! Miaux!”
“O no! Mr. Smee! He’s caught in the tree!”
“Miaux!”
“I’ll save you Mister Smee!”
“Miaux”
“I’m coming, Mr. Smee!

[Inane! Predictable! Maudlin! – ed.]
[So? -- other ed.]
[So, I need to step in and cut it off before it sullies the reputation of this fine blog!—ed.]
[over my dead (cyber) body! – other ed.]
[I don’t mean to sound presidential, but “Bring it on!” – ed.]

[[at this point, we step back one more level, out of that frame to yet another wider reality in which that reality (that you thought was the real one) is actually contained,.
--(cf. The Saragossa Manuscript, Mariushka dolls, Plato’s “parable of the cave,” The Matrix, Boethius, St. Elsewhere, and (one suspects) Lost) –
to report that the “eds” tussle and wrassle and kick up a cloud of dust through which can be discerned (dimly)the words:
TO BE CONTINUED ! ]]

Treed, Part One: The Hype

Mr. Smitty got caught in the tree!

That Mister had to rescue him!

The harrowing untold (‘til now) story!

Stranded for minute(s)!

Trapped at dizzying heights (about 10 feet up)

No one four miles around! (but less than four miles away stood the two misters (who were, like, four feet away)).

Emotionally scarred for (one one-hundred and thirty-second of his) life!

For all this (mellow) drama…


STAY TUNED!!

Birdbrained

Mister Smitty ate a bird!


T(his) Mister: Mister, there’s a bird in here.

T(hat) Mister: Open the door and close the blinds on the other windows. He’s on the window by the phone.

T. Mister: And The Smitty?

T. Mister: He’s watching him.


== Later ==


T. Mister: Mister, The Smitty grabbed the bird from the table and took it outside and played with it. He’d let it go, then when it’d move he’d jut his head out at it (T. Mister demonstrates).

T. Mister: Where’s the bird now?

T. Mister: Inside Mr. Smitty (icky face).

The Diaspora, Part II:Shuttle Diplomacy

Mr. Smitty is all discombobulatified by the shuttle diplomacy of The Misters.

The Misters are equally non-non-plussed by the prospect of having to dog-sit a pair of wee doggies that need to be walked thrice daily!

“Mister, are you going home to feed The Smitty?”

“Mister, I thought you were.”

“Mister, I don’t know.”

“Let’s ask The Smitty.”

“Mister, Good idea!”

The Diaspora, Part 1:Parting is such smeet sorrow

Here begins the tedious multi-parted saga of the Mister’s House-sitting adventure that cast a desert of separation between themselves and the Smee – including a harrowing night or two actually not sleeping at home with the Smitty!!

Scene One: Tearful Goodbyes

“Mr. Smitty, we have to go!”

“We have to leave the Smitty on his own recognizance and sich.”

“Mr. Smitty!” (rending of garments, pouring of ashes over heads, etc) On knees, tear-bestained cheeks, sniffling:

“Will the Smitty promise to be a good and well-behaved Smitty?”

Mr. Smitty: (wildly twisting figure eights around the Misters’ feets to insure their safe return)

"Mao!"