The Mr. Smitty Scuplture

Mr. Smitty has a sculpture of hisself!

(to perpetrate the Misters.)

Formerly, we believed in the presence of a cat formerly known as “Mini-Me.”

Now, we posit that said cat is actually Mr. Smitty moving in the distance, prowling the purlieus, whilst what we see in the foreground is the sculpture of the sleeping (sometimes sitting-up, as in actual sculptures of cats) Smitty, deftly placed probably by his peeps --

(though not Mini-me who, by this quote-a-rat demonstration, is proved to be only a sculptural stand-in for the Smitty)

-- when The Smee wants to vamoose the premises unbeknownst to his masters, the Misters.

Eat-a-Mouse Part II: Mr. Smitty Got Game!

(as delicately as possible): “Excuse me, but where are the … remains?”

“With the Smee. Bottom of the stairs.”

The Misters pee(r?) (somewhere?) over the railing.

“There it is. Can’t tell if it’s ‘deed’ (Scottish accent). He’s pushing at it.”

Then the Smitty let the not-‘deed’-yet “wee sleekit” mousie skulk away a little bit, but This Mister coaxed the Smee to recapture it and coup-de-grassify it.
(all of this was done by a Mister safely behind the kitchen window – yuk! Once the mister discovered the potential of a rich gift from the Smitty, he immediately slammed shut the sliding glass door to repulse all smitties bearing gifts.).

“--ANY-way!”

Right. Back to the gory details that a jaded, Internet-sized attention-span demands:
[WARNING: the following descriptions of gnawing, ripping, disemboweling, eviscerating, gutting, decapitating, munching, yanking, gumming, and swallowing of the “wee sleekit tim’rous beastie” (Scottish accent, natch) have hereby been expunged by Mister Smitty’s parent organization, its advertiser(s?), associates, and subsidiaries in the—
[the preceding (and following) LEGAL DISCLAIMER has been expunged by the creative team as being depressingly corporate and overly litigious – ed.]

Mr. Smitty got game!

Eat-a-Mouse Part I: Hail the Conquering Smee!

Mr. Smitty ate a mouse!

(He left only the tail.)

“Nothing beats the fresh taste of wild game, eh, Mr. Smee?” said This Mister, as he peered down on the Smitty’s eviscerations and decapita(liza)tions.

“He brought it up on the porch and showed it to me,” reported That Mister. “But it was still alive. I had to pull my feet up off the floor like this” (does).

“Then he dropped it and swatted it and picked it up again. At one point he went back over to the door [mercifully closed – ed.] to look for you.”

“He wanted all the Misters to see.”

“Mister, he did.”

“Mister, The Smitty is a good hunter-smitty.”

“Mister, this story of the Smitty eating a mouse is a good one.”

“Mister, it is.”

“Mister, it should be continued.”

“Mister, it should.”

"Ok. Say the word.”

“To be continuated, yo!”

Mr. Smitty and the Fallacy of Invisibility

Mister Smitty is invisible!

Mister Smitty thinks that he blends in – green, when he is near the avocado tree, for example – and is surprised (when the Misters call out his name in glee) at being discovered.

“He thinks we can’t see him.”

“He thinks he’s invisible.”

“He thinks he’s a tricky camouflaged Smitty.”

“He is.”

“He thinks that being white is like being no-color, so, therefore, Q.E.D., neutral, thus invisible.

“He can take on the color he is near.”

“Like a chameleon.”

“That’s why The Smitty doesn’t attack monsters when he sees them – he thinks he is one of them!”