Product Placement Alert!

Dear Sirs,

Scabrous!

To see the pristine pages of your blog besmirched by the lowest form of product placement. How Tawdry!

Please cancel my subscription/RSS feed/Bookmark/Whatever. Though I suppose I could do that myself, I shan’t! No more effort! I will cut you off at the knees: I will simply NOT READ your blog! I will kill you with malign neglect!

Have a nice day,
Name Withheld

Statues of Imitations

Own your own Mr. Smitty Statue!

Option #1: “The Sphinx” or “Mister Sphinxy”

Front legs completely stretched out in front of him, head up, eyes closed, back feet hunched as in Egyptian original (please consult off-site sources, i.e., your own memory).

Option #2: “Sleeping Sphinxy”

Same as the above except Mister Sphinx lays his head on his outstretched arms. This model is also known around the factory as the “flying caped crusader smitty.”

[end catalogue; please return to living]

Turn of the Sentry

Mister Smitty has guard duty!

Perched atop his wee marble table (replicas available by clicking “Link$”), The Smitty watches the southwestern approach to his crack house!

[for a compleat (read: tedious) explanation of why a garden outcropping of rocks has been dubbed “Mr. Smitty’s Crack House,” please descend to the second (basement) floor of the archives, turn left, and wish yourself “good luck.”]

The Smitty is a good sentry, always on the alert. If you call his name, he snaps to attention.

“Mister, that’s good.”

“Mister, that is. He provides homeland security for his crack house.”

“Which must be defended at all costs from enemies of the (e)state.”