A Sustainable Smee

Mister Smitty is a green smitty!

He likes to climb into the truck and help with the recycling by smelling all the outgoing bottles and sich.

(“Where you taking all those smells, yo?” Those are my smells!”)

“Mister Smitty, are you reducing your carbon footprint?”

(“Have you taken a look at my paws? I’ve already got about the smallest footprint…”)
Solar? The Smee soaks up sunlight as soon as it peeks through that crack o’the mountain!
Water? The Smee has cut out showers completely, replacing them with lavish tongue-baths.
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A Tipping Point

Like a bathroom attendant in Grand Central’s Oyster Bar, ready to provide towels, soap, etc., The Smee had positioned himself plop in the middle of the bathroom, ready to serve The Misters’ every need.

“Mister, do you think we should tip him?”

“Mister, with what?”

“We could pet him gently and thank him. The great colonizers did that – and it worked for a good long…”

The Smitty interrupts to speak for himself, his generation, his people, nation, kind:

“A Thank you and a handshake? A pat on the head? Tip? You call that a tip? Here’s a tip for you: I sneeze on you! Ker-choo! You got that? Ker-choo you!”

A Hungry Smee

Mister Smitty is not a well-mannered smitty when he’s hungry!

Table manners? Atrocious!

Those whose duty it is to feed The Smee were overheard kvetching ‘back of the loading dock here at the Mister Smitty World Headquarters complex:

“Mister, he stuck his head into his dish so fast, he knocked the scoop out of my hand!”

“Mister, hilarious -- I mean, shocking!”

“Then, when I come back and he’s eaten it all – even the old dead wet food stuck to the side.”

“Fascinating!”

[oh yeah. – ed.]