Brunch with Mister Smitty

Mr. Smitty should have a leash!
Then, we could take him “downstairs” to eat with us: (doo-do-do, doo-do-do (sound of time passing as the Misters march the Smitty on his leash down to the breakfast joint))
“I’ll have a short stack, a breakfast burrito, and whaddya want, Mr. Smee?”
“(purr)”
“Plate a milk.”
While we wait, we read the paper.
“What part of the paper do you want, Mr. Smitty.”
(dumb look like, “duh, obviously, the comics: it’s where the cats are”)
“He don’t want to read the paper, he wants to pee on it!”

A Short Note on the Luxuriously Long Front Legs of the Smitty

Mister Smitty has long front legs! He likes to stretch them out in front of him when he sits in the sun like a Sphinx (which is the royal stone form of Mister Smitty).

Or when he lays completely flat, his legs stretch way out in front of him like he’s diving or flying through the air like Super Smitty!

And his cape snaps behind him in the wind when he adventurizes.

Mister Smitty, Lap Dancer

Mister Smitty is a lap-dancer!

Mister Smitty likes to do laps.

As soon as a Mister sits down, the Smitty’s sensitive “fresh lap” radar turns his head in a lapward direction and propels the Smee to the targeted lap.

Once ensconced, he scrunches up his face all satisfied-kine and rests his head on a Mister’s knee.

As if to say, “You ain’t goin’ nowhere, G.”

Lettuce Now Praise a Famous Smitty

Mister Smitty sleeps in the window boxes!

He likes the dirt feel and the edging – like a bed – that his fluffiness gets to lie up against for warmth and protection.

(Don’t ask the arugula that’s being crushed by his massive stomachs what they think about the Smitty’s new habit)

But this, too, shall pass, little lettuces!

Mr. Smitty’s Purr-pose in Life

Mister Smitty likes to purr!

When the Smee climbs into the Mister’s lap (either Mister, since they’re basically interchangeable as far as a sleepy Smitty is concerned) he puts his head up by Mister’s knees like a judge listening to a case.

“Objection, Your Honor!”

“(purr).”