The Beige-ing Olympics

We’re back with continuous (read: tedious) coverage of the Beige-ing Olympics.

(It is, after all, an Olympian task to “beige” the world, but the march toward the blending down of everything unique into one vast sea of beige oatmeal is just the way the phenomenal world’s cookie crumbles. Hey – you can’t unstir the cream from the coffee…)

“ANY-way!”

“Mister, since the Smitty has such a lock in The Flop (his top event), where else can we expect to see him compete?”

“Mister, The Smee is also looking strong in the Car-Smelling competition and the Gleeful 100-foot Scamper, but I’d say to watch for him in the Flowerbox Medley.”

“Mister, What’s that?”

“Carefully sleeping in flowerboxes in and amongst the herbs and flowers.”

“We know The Smitty is a real champ in the sleeping events!”

An Olympic Smitty Event #1: The Flop

Mr. Smitty is an Olympic competitor!

While the Misters carry a torch for the Smee, The Smee shall lead the Misters’ team to virtual triumph in his top event: The Flop.

The Flop occurs several seconds into “heavy petting” when, heavily petted, The Smee flops over on the ground for more serious manhandling.

In Olympic trials, the joodges have lauded “the resounding thud” of his flopping flanks and “gentle jiggling-to-rest” of the Smitty’s plenteous stomachs.

We wish him luck!

The Diaspora, Part V Or, Last Night at My Bad

Scene: Long, quiet, hugely-windowed hallway in a european villa, seen in black and white (un-natch).

Curtains blowing in slightest slo-mo, figures in evening wear posed, contemplatively gazing.

Long Silence.

Not in frame: Mister Smitty

(Why? Because the Smitty has to spend the night at home alone w/o his Misters.)

Shot of the Smee’s food outside on the empty porch.

Full moon, smee-white.

The sounds of braying Misters? None.

T.V.? None.

Stars, wind, moon, sky.

Fabulousy Blog, Age 2, Celebrates Anniversary

Put on your party hats, yo’s!

This venerable old blog is 2 years ol’

We at the executive offices (confetti floating in our cocktails) can only speak for ourselves, but we hope we speak for all of the Mister Smitty © family of companies when we say thank you for being out there, you, our gentle reader(s?) and for your support over these two long years.

What a journey it has been! What an endless stream of words and pictures have come to clutter our walls and minds and hearts, stopping up the access and passage to rewards, clogging our systems like so much mental plaque, taxing our hearts, eating up our time….even as I write these heartfelt thanks my heart feels tanked. I’m all choked up (literally). A warm and fuzzy vision fills my whole being and I feel surrounded by overwhelming warmth. I…uh…ah! …I …oh!…

[He was so choked up he was unable to continue. We wish him the best! Send cards and flowers to ICU.]

Mister Smitty’s America’s Stupidest (Whatevah-Brah) Video Entry! Or, Mister Smitty’s Bag Adventure!!

To view the awesome video of the Smee’s hijinks, click on the --

“There’s no video link, yo.”

Oh. Ok. It has come to our attention, dear readers, that many of the links mentioned by The Misters in these entries have not spontaneously sprung into existence simply by our naming them. While we aim to remedy this situation at our earliest convenience, we invite you to Imagine (old skool, yeah?) the Smitty discovering, exploring, wrassling, and getting trapped inside of a paper bag and having to back his way out of it after a pause for reflection in which he calms and collects his wits.

Click on the video link in your head, G.