Not a “Peep”

Mister Smitty has no Peeps!

You never actually see Mister Smitty and his Peeps together at the same time.

Example: Yesterday the Peeps were fighting; Mr. Smitty was above the fray (literally, yo: he was up on the railing). When This Mister went out to investimigate, he saw only the randy-ass whitish-brown tail of the Faux-Princess smitty

[please refer to blog entry #___, “The Compleat Catalogue of Mr. Smitty’s Peeps, vol 1”]

sauntering off under the house (where lurked, by the way, the fiesty and furry chocolate “Jackie” brown Blaxploitation cat)

But where was the Mini-Me smee?

All three of Mr. Smitty’s peeps have never actually been seen at once: you

[Editors at this point must step in to limit the length of this entry so as to preserve readership #s from slipping below 1 gazillion. – eds]

Crop Circles II: Crop Sequels

-- A day later --

Mister Smitty got up from being belly-scratched, lounging upside down in the freshly cut grass to go on a hunting expedition in the tall mysterious grasses of the Grassy Knoll.

“Mister, Mister Smitty is a hunting smitty.”

“He’s disappeared into the tall grasses. You can’t see him at all.”

“He must like it.”

“He’s probably heading for the crop circ—“

“—de soleil.”

“Mister, maybe the Smitty MAKES the crop circles!!”

“He probably gets his peeps to do it.”

“He’s just checking on their work.”

“Quality control.”

“Yo, this circle is all hamma-jag.”

“What do you think I pay you for? Sneakin’ my food in the middle of the night… perpetratin’ inferior-quality crop circles…”

“I’m going to fire your ass back to Iowa if you don’t get them circles right.”

(Mr. Smitty is a stern task-master with his peeps, yo.)

Crop Circles

Mr. Smitty makes crop circles in our grass!

One morning, The Misters woke to find swathes of tall grass pushed down – as though a horse had wrested himself loose again from next door and rested himself in our grassy knoll!

(all of which was caught on super-8 by Mr. Lap-intruder (I mean the Smee))

“Mister, a mysterious animal has lain hisself down in our grassy knoll, no’m sayin?”

“Mister, I see.”

--a day later –

“Mister, more mysterious crop circles have appeared in yon Grassy Knoll.”

“Mister, they have.”

-- a day or two later --

“Mister –“

“Mister, I know.”

“Who is perpetrating curlie-Qs uppin’ dere?

“It’s like a horror movie.”

“Mister, it is.”

“But the Smitty will protect us.”

“Mister, he will.”

Peripatetical Perpetrations

Mister Smitty perpetrates That Mister’s chair!

The Smitty has taken recently to sleeping hisself down in That Mister’s official chair for the night (or day).

Quasi-nomadical, it is The Smitty’s wont to briefly sojourn in one spot or another (for a fortnight or so) and then to decamp for fresh snooze spots. We used to plant his bed where we saw him starting to take up residence, but that only precipitated new perpetrations.

(no’m sayin’?)

So, instead, we have learned to give up worrying and love The Smitty’s peregrinations, yo.

Lunatic Smitty

Mister Smitty’s mother is the moon!

The Full Moon!

Check it: they’re both white

-- and round, and mysterious, and cute,

-- and constantly orbiting the mother ship

-- and magical (mystical) supernatural-ated and li’dat

-- and carefully clean theyselfs daily

-- and sleep a lot

-- and light up the night.

Hail Comrade Smitski!

As in the photographs of the Central Committee of the Soviet Communist Party circa 1973 –

heavily scrutinized for clues as to who’s got the power, who’s in, who’s out (“have I caught thee?”) –

divined from the order in which they stand, one cabal, under the flag…

So, too does The Smitty stand on our balcony and survey all below with a quiet, enigmatic expression.

‘cept he be the only (and supreme) committee member of Central Smittiness!

Da, Pravda, Good Comrade Smitski!