The Undiscovered Adventures of Mr. Smitty (Imagined)

Disclaimer:

Unlike other “real” adventures of the Smee, the following “adventures” are supposed, projected, potential occurrences of a parallel universe in which the Smitty may or may not dwell.

(our lawyers made us write that – ed.)

The party of the first part (The Smee) pursuant to the desires of his Misters, was left to wander and cavort for the aforementioned no. of days

(see www.mistersmitty.blogspot.com/whatever/why/areyou/stillreadingthis/faux.url?)

Duh.

Details of this “adventure” are not available to this blog at press (enter) time.

The Rules of Etti-cat

Mister Smitty has etti-cat!

As you know from numerous reiterations, The Smitty is a polite a welcoming host when others arrive (for cocktails).

He greets, prances, lap-dances and lounges in the general direction of visitors (all of which is well documented in previous entries stretching back eons).

But WHY is the Smitty full of etti-cat?

Perhaps it is because he was, for a short time, owned by a scion of one of this island’s oldest families, and was trained to be a congenial smitty.

We suspect, too, that this is where he learned to so elegantly extend his front feet (sphinx-like) when lounging or posing.

The Mao of Smee

We now offer various translations of the Smitty’s most oft-bespokified expression -- “Mao”:

1) The final moment before you put his new food down in front of him.

Translations: THANK YOU

‘BOUT TIME!
C’MON WID’IT!
JOLLY GOOD/ CHEERS!
[expletive(s) deleted]

2) When the Smitty runs up the stairs after he has been adventuring far afield:
Translations: YO!
I HAVE ARRIVED!
ALERT THE PRESS!
LE CHAT, C’EST MOI!

Fan Mail, Part III: “Tube”ular

Many of our reader(s), understandably star-struck, ask questions about the Smitty’s screen and tube appearances. A sampling:

Was that your voice-over on The Simpsons last night?

No, I only do South Park.

What happened to your cameo in Babel? I thought you were cast as Goat #3?
My cameo in Babel was cut off because no one could understand what I was saying!
Meister Smithy, (tovish and slithy) I saw your posts on YouTube.
Yo, hush up about that! That *!#! was not authorized, ya dig?