A Bit(e) Gamey

Mister Smitty got a mouse!

He brought it up to the most heavily-trafficked spot on the porch to present to his Misters. (Luckily I slung the door shut before being so richly gifted with live game.)

He played with the wee sleekit tim’rous beastie for awhile before picking him up and taking him down to the killing floor (the grass at the bottom of the stairs where the Smee has consumed all but one of his dark materials).

“We should erect a scoreboard down on the killing floor.”

“It would say Birds 4, Rodents 4.

“That’s what I call a dead (h)eat!”

On the Whiteness of the Smee

Famous white (non-albino) animal/creatures:

Moby-Dick

A white elephant (sale)

Mister Smitty

Others? If so, Please contact us!

Ask Mr. Smitty!

Due to the overwhelming # of cards and letters (all virtual) pleading with us to “Ask the Smee,” we hearby inaugurate a new web service for our devoted readers:
Ask the Smee!

Due to the backlog of questions already amassed (we’ve had to rent an entire second floor at the corporate offices to store the requests (lovingly transferred to hard copy by order of the Library of Congress (scholars take note)), your newly submitted questions may have to wait as long as 3.14 years before being answered.
But do not fear!

All questions are assigned a ping pong ball and are gleefully spun in an see-through cage by a handsome assistant (“headspinner”) and questions are selected at random. This means –

[they know what “random” means – ed.]

Ok then, ‘nuff said.