Due to the overwhelming # of cards and letters (all virtual) pleading with us to “Ask the Smee,” we hearby inaugurate a new web service for our devoted readers:
Ask the Smee!
Due to the backlog of questions already amassed (we’ve had to rent an entire second floor at the corporate offices to store the requests (lovingly transferred to hard copy by order of the Library of Congress (scholars take note)), your newly submitted questions may have to wait as long as 3.14 years before being answered.
But do not fear!
All questions are assigned a ping pong ball and are gleefully spun in an see-through cage by a handsome assistant (“headspinner”) and questions are selected at random. This means –
[they know what “random” means – ed.]
Ok then, ‘nuff said.
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