Mr. Smitty’s, an elite school for cats Part I: from the course Cat-alogue

Mr. Smitty, aware of his vast talents, has decided to share his gifts with the world for a small fee. Let’s look through some of the courses offered:

Adventure Sleeping: This rigorous experiential course requires sleeping in all sorts of outdoor locations, precarious perches, hard, soft, wet surfaces.

Course instructor: Dr. Smee-gmund Smee, Ph.dy - Du.dy. Prerequisite: Catnapping 101.

Escape from the Bathroom!

In the shower, sensing the great outdoors is near, The Smitty scours the shower floor looking for the gateway.

“I can smell it!”

But a thin veil separates The Smee from the olfactory paradise winking at him (nasally speaking) from the beyond. He looks up at The Misters with a look that says –

[oh no, here comes the anthropomorphizing again! – ed.]

[you know, if it weren’t for the existence of brackets, yo, you wouldn’t exist – other ed.]

(silence of --“ed.”)

Anyway, he has the same puzzled look that The Smee has.

Q.E.D., yo.

The Storm

All wind, no Smee.

Then, no electricity.

All day:

Smee on couch.

Because of no electricity, The Misters enjoyed “All-Smee TV.” Nestled on the couch, they were rapt by programs like “Cleanin’ Myself” (one of those DIY shows), “How to make a sculpture of myself by sitting still” (meditational programming), and “Watch me Bend my Leg Back Funny” (sit-com).