Puff Daddy

Mister Smitty is a Marshmallow Peeps!

Check it, yo:

                He white (don’t tell him though).

                He delicious and sich.

                He cute ‘n all dat.

[I thought Marshmallow Peeps were yellow or purple, not white. – ed.]

[Ok, so, what: you want us to erase the whole entry, then? – other ed.]

Can Handle?

Mister Smitty has agents!

The Misters “handle” the Smitty’s representation.

“What about that picture of the Smee?”

“Couldn’t upload it.”

“What about that ______ (fax, memo, phone call, etc. fill-in-the-blank)?”

“Huh?”

“Mister, do you think the Smee will discover our ineptitude and fire us as agents?”

“Mister, “WILL” discover?”

Putative Puke

Mr. Smitty barfed!

Color photos (not available at press time) indicate the substance(s) in question were mostly grasses.

“That’s those ‘garden greens’ mixed into his wet food, yo.”

“Or our actual greens from our actual garden.” (pace Marianne Moore)

(The Smee is a shameless grass-muncher)

“That’s how he cleans his teeth.”

“And his stomach, apparently.”

Human Instruction Manual

Pussy Whipped!

A user’s guide  -- or -- how to train those pesky humans in your life

- from one cat to another by Mister Smee.

Available from Simon & Shoe(land)-ster for $29.95 (or the equivalent in cat food (high-end, only)).

Order at our Web $ite! (previously issued as “Dummies for Dummies”)