Mr. Smitty’s Old Money

Mister Smee is old money!

The Smitty’s behavior, demeanor, non-mean mien, wealth (in cuteness), and silent, condescending tolerance of those crassly joyful Misters clearly intimates that The Smee hails from Old Money.

Besides, despite our legal team’s exhaustive efforts to contain, squelch, bury, and generally put the kaibosh on The Smitty’s provenance and genealogy, tantalizing snippets have leaked to the public through whispering lips, to wit, that The Smee is (sorta) the scion of one of the oldest colonial families on the island (despite his tenure in an SPCA flophouse. cf. his tatoo in “Da Smitty Code”).

Vetting The Smee

Mister Smitty is a “sassy” Smee!

That, according to the vet, as she gently proctologized his lily-white ass.

Her assistant tried to hold the heretofore congenial Smee still for the duration, but The Smee emitted low, vulgar sounds of a type heretofore unheard of by The Misters.

“He’s a sassy one,” she opined, just before The Smee pumped up the volume on his strange whining.

“That’s it. let him go. We’re done,” she concluded, abandoning all hope of evermore entering The Smee here.