Friday, October 13, 2006

Plastic Trash Bag Mystery III: Bag's End

And now, the stunning conclusion to… (echoing voice, drippy letters)

“The Plastic Trash Bag Mystery” (the real mystery is why it’s a trilogy)

The Misters stand dumbfounded. Jaws dropped to the floor with a * ker-thump! *

The Smitty has again run off frightened by a kitchen trash bag! So far the brilliant detective team of Mister & Mister have figured out the following:

“It ain’t because the bag is white, G”

“It ain’t because the bag is full, neither!”

(theoretically, then -- if I might interject and append – an empty, non-white kitchen trash bag (i.e. a bag of color) could also frighten the Smitty ((though actual tests have not been done on this.))

Pause of detective silence full of furrowed brows, ratiocination, pipe-smoking, playing of small metal rings-within-rings brain teasers, pacing, head scratching, and Styrofoam coffee cup slurping.

“Stumped, Sherlock?”

“or should you say Holmes, homey?”

“Let’s perpetrate a re-enactment, yo.”

“Wouldn’t that be kind of like entrapment?”

“Not if Mr. Smitty don’t have a lawyer to tell him so.”

“I would tell the Smitty myself! (warmly) Mr. Smitty!”

“Me too. (warmly) Mr. Smitty!”

“OK. Scratch that. I guess this will just have…

…TO BE CONTINUED !

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