Dear Plastic Bag Trashy Mystery Part Whatever,
Sirs, I don’t know who you think is out here reading this drivel but this madness must stop!
Are we to be strung along stupidly over multiple episodes simply so you can profit off increasingly insipid and vacuous sequels comprised of nothing but the cheapest of movie and TV clichés?
Clearly the answer to the mystery is obvious to anyone (certainly, at least,) by the conclusion of Part Two (if not before! – Actually, I got it by about the middle of Part Two – though I by no means offer myself as a lightning rod of your average reader…)
And, frankly, your attempts to dumb-down the characters of the Misters so as to make the plot move more slowly is an insult to the finely-wrought and emotionally complex portraits you have penned of your Misters!
The only “truthiness” I find in the whole multi-parted epic is the character of Mr. Smitty himself – who mercifully avoids descending to the maudlin hi-jinks and corny delays you impose on your Misters and us,
Your faithful readers,
Anonymous (“coward” – ed.)
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