Fan Male

Sirs,

                

One is concerned by the increasing number of references, allusions, etc. creeping into an otherwise unvarnished depiction of the natural talents and behaviors of your main subject, Mr. Smitty.

Why these excess encrustations, these added adornments, fatuous flounces, frivolous fripperies?

Please desist posthaste from these literary departures and return us, your dear reader(s?) to full frontal coverage of your pussy.

Sincerely,

Dis Grunt-Led Guy

Smitt & Shinola

            Mister Smitty is a good foot-polisher!

               

            (not a boot-licker, a lackey who lacks Latin, or a lame, lame-covered llama on the lam)

            No: it’s fun to run one’s bare foot over his furry flanks. It reminds a Mister of one of those shoe-polishing buffers outside train stations in Spain, Italy, or any bygone depot in the U.S.

 

At the risk of dating himself by disclosing such a memory, This Mister must append that “that was in another country; and besides, the Nietzsche’s read.”

I (no) KEA

Mister Smitty has his own line of furniture.

               

It’s all white (natch) and furry.

Let’s shop!

  

There’s the “Crack House” table, modeled after the actual table in the actual Crack House, which comes in round or square top (both completely fur) and a glass cover (so you don’t have to lick the fur clean).

Available exclusively at I[sm]EA.

Green Smee

Mister Smitty is a green smitty!

                 

Talk about going green – The Smitty has long ago embraced the less-is-more organical approach to living moh green.

TM: Green soaps/detergents?

MS: Hell. No need for that. I use my own spit! Clean my paws ‘bout 10 times a day. Use my own tongue.             

TM: Shampoo?

MS: Tongue baths. Exclusively.  Multiple times per day.

TM: Feminine hygiene products?

MS: I’m currently an ‘it’ but even that all can be summed up by tongue, tongue, tongue!