Peeps is in the Hood

(m)YIAAAO!

                

Rustling of bushes, cries of other cat(s?).

“Mister, did Mister see The Smee?”

“Mister, I saw a white blur.”

The Smitty s chasing that orange cat. He’s keeping his peeps in line.

“Gotta discipline my peeps! Uppity orange-haired peep!

“You tell ‘em. Mr. Smee!”

Olympics #3: Lapping up the Gold

Since many Olympic athletes do laps, we though it only fair to enter The Smee in any and all lap contests.

The Smitty’s strategy is a little offbeat: after running with the best of them (and faster) The Smitty jumps into their laps thus preventing their path to the gold.

Tricky Smitty!

What a Babe!

Mister Smitty is a big baby!

                

You can lift The Smee and cradle him in your arms like a wee bub…

Whoops! The Smee just jumped into my lap.

“Mister, he checkin’ up on you – makin’ sure you’re not talkin’ stink about The Smee.”

But once you let him out of your arms (he don’t stay there very long before he starts whining – don’t like to have none of his feets touching the ground --

[all those years acting in 30’s films under the Henderson act, I guess – ed.]

-- and as soon as he’s back on the ground, he’s down there lickin’ hisself.

“Mister, that’s called damage control.”

Mr. Smitty and the Mystery of the Fridge

The Smitty likes to stare up at the fridge!

                

“It’s white – like a big version of The Smee.”

“and – like The Smee – full of goodness!”

He is contemplating the mysteries of the cold world that opens like a portal occasionally into his normal temper-cheer world.

Chinese philosopher Gno Kan Du says that cats are curious enough to contemplate consciousness itself, if they are confronted by a quirk (like, “How come my Misters are so stupid?).

HighTailing

Mister Smitty has RTS (Restless Tail Syndrome)!

                 

When The Smitty comes a-callin’ to meet and greet a wayward Mister or one of their visitoirs, The Smitty’s tail is completely elevated. At its quivering tip, a little bend: a question mark.

“Do you have a question, Mr. Smitty?”

“Yeah. Where you been? Get ovah t’hea and get some of my scent on ya so you won’t get lost again.”

“Any further questions?”

“Yes. What you waitin’ foh? Hightail it back into your box and get me my foods!”

Olympics #2: Come pet it if…

We’re back with continuing (tedious) coverage of the Beiging Olympics (it is, after all, an Olympian task to beige the world, but the march toward the blending down of everything to a uniform beige is the way the phenomenal world’s cookie crumbles. And hey, you can’t unstir the cream from the coffee, so –

“ANY-way!”

The Smee is a top contender in “The Flop,” headed for the medal, but what other events is he competing in, Mister?

Mister, he’s in the “Car-Smelling” Competition, the “Gleeful 100-foot Scamper,” but I’d say to watch for him in the “Flowerbox Medley.”

What’s that, Mister?

It involves sleeping in flowerboxes with all sorts of plants growing in them.

Mister, is that dangerous?

Only for the plants.

Hep Cat

Mister Smitty is a hep cat!

                

He likes to hang out in the lounge  … chair!

“Mister, he’s working on his tan.”

“Mister, best work harder: he’s lookin’ pretty white.” Maybe he better doff his cap – I mean, beret.

Maybe his bongos are in the way?

“Mister, should I pull his daisy?” -- or push those pages of automatic poetry off his body and …”Let the sun shine…”

Groovy, baby. Groovy!

Olympics #1: The Flop

Mister Smitty can compete in the Beiging Olympics!

                

[You see how long it takes our legal team to vet these blog posts? This news is stale and crumbly! – ed.]

                

[That’s why there’s only one letter difference between “blog” and “bog” – other ed.]

                

The Smee’s event is called “The Flop.” It occurs several seconds into “heavy petting” when, heavily petted, 

The Smee flops over on the ground for more serious manipulation.

                

The resulting thud and gentle rippling of his plenteous flanks wins him big points for form and grace.

Mice, Mice, Very Nice Mouse #2 Part 2: Discussion/Debrief/Breakout Sessions

Dear Reader(s?), What are your feelings about:

                 

Rodent evisceration?

                 

The Smee’s gratuitously violent streak?

                 

This website’s glorification of same?

                 

This website’s trivialization of same (irony, ha-ha, etc.)?

                 

Your desire/lack of same to interact with this website’s queries?

                

Your reaction to/fatigue for interactive questions such as the above?

               

Mice, Mice, Very Nice Mouse #2 Part 1: Query Theory

Query: Why Has the Smee Struck Down Mouse #2?

                 

Theory: Because we didn’t give him wet food for the first time in, like, fo’evah…

                 

He’s making a political statement!

                 

“If you ain’t gonna give me my wet food, I’m going to take to the streets, demand my share, and take what’s rightfully mine!”

Insurrection! Sedition! Rebellion! Mayhem! Communism! Transfat!