Da Vater Code V: The Secret (of Why the Smitty has Migrated to the Watering Can) REVEALED!

“Mister, Mister Smitty likes to drink from the watering can.”

“Mister, We are always careful to keep it full to the top so the Smitty can reach the water.”

“Mister, we are. We are good Misters.”

“Mister Smitty, are we good Misters?’

Mister Smitty: (lapping sounds)

“Mister, I think he likes to drink that water because he thinks it’s fresher. It’s like a rain puddle. The Gato used to always drink from rain puddles.”

“True dat, G.”

“Mister, do you think that Mister Smitty thinks that that is a puddle?”

“Shoots.”

“That he doesn’t know that we top off the watering can on a daily basis expressly for the Smitty?”

“Mister, maybe.”

Da Smitty Code V: Gratuitous Dead-ends

The secret code tattooed in the Smitty’s ear is not a Fibonacci sequence or its opposite, its inverse, its reverse-inverse, its square root, its cube root, cue stick, or rubik’s cube. (though it could sort of look like Versace sequins.)

Nor is this number hidden in the first letters of the words used in the following sentence:

The quick brown fox jumped up the lazy river where the flying fishes play.

The secret code cannot be obtained by guessing the meaning of a rhyming quatrain or by holding this computer screen up to a mirror.

The secret is not something to be gotten by translating the following bit of Baudelaire:

Leurs reins feconds sont plein d’etincelles magiques
Et des parcelles d’or, ainsi qu’un sable fin,
Etoilent vaguement leur prunelles mystiques.

But: all of these items have a secret correlation and significance that may or may not have anything to do with this or any other secret!

Da Vater Code IV: A Sentimental Journey to Chance and Italy

Lately, the Smee has taken to preferring to sip his water from the watering can on the porch (rather than from the plastic “tandem”dish which places his water within kissing-cousin distance to his food).

The Smitty can often be found sipping away contentedly at his newly discovered, natural and organic and aesthetically pleasing watering can.

Like a good Italian mom, the Smee knows where to go to get the freshest ingreediments!

Da Vater Code III: Amendations & Codicils

The dispositional situation vis-a-vis the Smitty’s water, frequency of change, bowlage, etc., includes some details not heretofore covered by the bloggist or his subsidiaries. Thus, we include these amendments to the description of the Smee’s water and its environs:

1)Beneath the Smitty’s water and food is laid a tea towel, white with blue writing (“Wachenfield” – source or meaning unknown) and graphics (a cat’s face – meaning known). Said tea towel is a present from the Mister’s Sister (not that mister’s sister, but this mister’s sister).

2)Since the date of the writing of the previous blog entry – to be distinguished from the posting of said entry – the Smee has suffered the following changes to his circumstances vis-à-vis water, food, and their means of delivery:

a)the FOS bowl that formerly contained his water has been reclaimed by the kitchen staff (in particular the Saucier and hors d’oeuvres maker) and replaced, at the other Mister’s command, by a light-weight plastic “tandem”dish allowing a side-by-side presentation of food and water.

[a transcript of the mediation between the Misters about this radical change in food and water delivery systems vis-à-vis the Smee – a contentious debate striking at the very heart of the constituent issues – is available (forthcomingly – since it is still being used in a legal proceeding) at the legal division’s website]

b)I forget what I was talking about.

Da Vater Code II: The Faux FO Soup Interlude

The Official Water Bowl of the Smitty is a brown ceramic bowl with two loop handles on each side. It is one of a set of French Onion Soup bowls.

(I have made French Onion Soup (FOS) only on e winter in them -- and that was actually a faux FOS made with Mugi miso, all stodgy, sour, and impacted in a way that warms one in winter, doesn’t it, Mr. Smitty?

Mr. Smitty: (no response)

Mister: Does the Smitty like his water?

Mr. Smitty: (no response)

Mister: (turning to his audience in cyberspace) We replace the Smitty’s water often. Perhaps too often. Gentle readers, How often do you replace your smitty’s wa-wa?

Da Vater Code

Mr. Smitty likes to drink his water!

He’s very still when he does it.

I like to watch him do it.

(I’m not sure he likes me to watch.)

So…

When the smitty is drinking his water, we alert each other to the fact

in a coded, impersonal way so as not to disturb the smitty:

“Mister, someone is drinking his water!”

“Mister, someone is!”