In the (Upper) Bored Room

“Please come to order!”

(We’ve snuck into a board meeting : penthouse windows, laptops at every seat)

“First report for the chairman?”

Mister Smitty, (aka “The Chairman”) in an excessively over-padded office chair, sleeps.

Insiders tell us that these meeting follow strict protocols (here described):

1) Do not report any fluctuations in expenses, revenues, etc. that shall disturb The Smee.

2) If The Smee stirs, proceed with clear hearts, desist from petty internicene arguments about payscale, seniority, office space, etc. – in short, anything that The Smee (in his infinite wisdom) will not cotton to.

3) Adjourn at first sign that The Smee gets a notion to eat or adventurize.
“Meeting adjourned!”

On Rear’n ‘N Matur’n ‘em

Mister Smitty is thinking (about what’s) outside the box!

When the honorable Smee enters a box (placed randomly for his delectation), the first thing said cosmic venturer does is to get all-up-in-der and scratch all (6) sides (doing his ludicrous calculations like a Count’em physicist).

This music is music (to The Misters’ ears).

Later, becalmed, The Smee peers out the front of the box, like a man who has only recently unchained himself from the depths of his cave, and rediscovers the many-more-than-six-sided world of those crazy Misters and their so-called reality.

-- then plunges back inside to re-scratch-ify and re-calculate what the hell is going on!

‘Someone’ is Waiting

When The Misters want to refer to the Smee without saying his name, they say things like:

“Mister, ‘Someone’ is drinking his water!” “Mister, ‘Someone’ is showering” (meaning when he sits person-like in the middle of the room and commence-ifies to lick hisself all over). “Mister, ‘Someone’ is eating his grasses.” “Mister, ‘Someone’ is hunting.” “Mister, ‘Someone’ is praying.” “Mister, ‘Someone’—

[--is pulling the plug on this inane blog post –ed.]